I worked with Justice Mack Kidd on the Third Court of Appeals for 10 years in the ’90s. He was invariably jovial and upbeat. But he had a secret that few people knew about: He and some other members of his family of origin suffered from depression.
A few years after I left the Court in 2001, I heard Judge Kidd had died. I was shocked and saddened but nowhere near as much as when the pastor at his memorial service ended her eulogy with the words, “Don’t judge Mack by his last act.” It took me a few minutes to figure out what she meant, but I soon got confirmation that he had taken his own life.
Judge Kidd had been a member of the Calvert Inn of Court, and at the monthly Inn meeting a couple of weeks after his death, I found that I was not the only one in shock. Led by Pastor Joe Parker, the group decided we had to do something constructive to honor Judge Kidd and to help others. Through our discussions, we learned that lawyers suffering from serious depression often find it difficult if not impossible to get any work done. As a result, their income dries up. As their income decreases, they often can’t afford therapy or medication to treat the disease. Sometimes they also lose their health insurance, which makes their financial situation even more dire. And of course, the financial stress deepens their depression and feeling of hopelessness.
Members of the Calvert Inn decided to establish a monetary fund to try to alleviate some of these financial hardships for those in need. With Judge Kidd’s widow’s approval, we called it the Justice Mack Kidd Fund. Working with the Texas Lawyers’ Assistance Program (TLAP) of the State Bar, which has a similar statewide program, we established a procedure for making grants to attorneys living or working in Travis County who are in financial distress due to depression or a related illness. Many of the referrals the Fund gets come from applications made through TLAP.
The Fund is administered by the Austin Bar Foundation. The initial grant amount available is $2,500, but the Fund will entertain a second application if it is needed. I am proud to have been one of the trustees of the Fund since its creation almost 20 years ago. Using money from voluntary contributions made by the Austin legal community, we have helped many local lawyers work through depressive episodes. It is something we can all be proud of.
But many Austin lawyers do not know about the Justice Mack Kidd Fund or TLAP. And many people do not realize how serious (and deadly) depression can be. It seems that every year at least one Austin lawyer takes his or her own life.
I get it. For those who do not suffer from serious depression, the disease can seem like a mysterious and distant condition. But it is very real and often closer than we realize. It is all around us, though usually hidden, just like Judge Kidd’s.
I encourage you to partner with the Justice Mack Kidd Fund. All contributions to the Fund are tax-deductible as charitable donations. To donate online, visit https://shorturl.at/qYoRI. To make a donation by mail, send a check to 712 W. 16th St., payable to the Austin Bar Foundation, Attn: Judge Mack Kidd Fund. Just as important, though, you can partner with the Fund by being aware of and sensitive to the issue or by just letting others know about the existence of the Fund. You can also partner with the Fund by noticing changes in the behavior of a friend or colleague and telling them about the Fund if that seems appropriate. Or you can report behavior that appears to indicate depression directly to the TLAP office of the State Bar yourself. Such communications are 100 percent confidential by law. Your act of caring, even if it makes you feel uncomfortable, could start a crucial healing process.
Just as important, do not forget to take care of yourself. There is no shame in asking for help when you cannot seem to find your way out of the fog. The Justice Mack Kidd Fund is there to provide a lifeline. Please use it.